just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
