Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
