You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize