TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We have so much sex to catch up on
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
