Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
its not stalking. its research.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
