Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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