Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
