i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
