seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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