So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
