Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
