if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
