i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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