Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize