sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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