i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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