RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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