When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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