Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize