If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
