Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
