i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize