I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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