I'm so fucking centered right now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
