so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
