I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
