My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
