You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
