I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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