So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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