Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize