apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
