I think I died a long time ago.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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