Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
