Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
