ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
