how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
