absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
