We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
