But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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