In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
