it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
