what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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