Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
