I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
