Church boner. Awkwardddd
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
