Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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