i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
