Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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