i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
