shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize