Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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