I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
