I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize