its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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