I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need Xanax blowdarts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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