u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
