You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
