Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it because I queefed?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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